beneathstillwaters

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Air I Breathe, The

Air I Breathe, The
Air I Breathe, The (2007)

IMDB rating: 7.40

Plot: A drama based on an ancient Chinese proverb that breaks life down into four emotional cornerstones: happiness, pleasure, sorrow and love. A businessman (Whitaker) bets his life on a horse race; a gangster (Fraser) sees the future; a pop star (Gellar) falls prey to a crime boss (Garcia); a doctor (Bacon) must save the love of his life.

Directors: Lee Jieho

Actors: Bacon Kevin,Fraser Brendan,Whitaker Forest,Garcia Andy,Hirsch Emile,Bernthal Jon,Cho John,Deichman Andrew,Delevin Daniel,Dolley Jason,Flaum Josh,Gregg Clark,Koenig Jake,Crime,Drama,Romance,

Does anyone share the same chronic cough that I have, it gets much worse at night.?
For quite some time, I have been suffering from a very terrible cough that occurs every three to four months. Anyone and everyone that hear it comment on how bad it sounds. A former boss even told me that it was ‘grating’ on fellow employees. When I get this cough it lasts anywhere from four days to two or three weeks. It sounds very bronchial, I think, and feels like it comes from deep within my lungs. I rarely cough any mucous up, and for the most part my nose is usually congested at the same time but not always. The discomfort significantly increases at night. As soon as I lay down I go into massive coughing attacks no matter if I lie on my back, side, or stomach. They come on so quickly and it is impossible to physically try to suppress it. It starts with a sort of tickle in the back of my throat then instantly I suck in a bunch of air (which I can’t stop from doing) and then I start coughing and it lasts for multiple coughs sometimes up to six or seven. It’s a very disatisfying feeling because the force of the cough feels as if it’s trying to dislodge something for me to cough up but it never does and I keep coughing because it never ‘catches’ and successfully transports anything up my throat (which is the best way I can describe it) It gets to the point where I am gagging and dry-heaving and nearly vomiting after a coughing attack and sometimes I lose my breath for a few moments. Humidifiers don’t help, cough syrups and sprays only help very temporarily, nasal decongestants help so that I don’t have to breathe through my mouth when trying to sleep and the prescribed codeine cough syrup that I sometimes get knocks me out for a while, but both are also very temporary and I usually wake up many times a night. And my condition has gotten increasingly worse, now I am waking up every hour or less to a coughing attack and currently I have not slept more than 5 or 6 hours in two nights. I do not have insurance so I have to go to the Emergency Room and every time I get the same story, that it’s either allergies or just a cold. I did get a sample of Advair and Nasonex which seemed to help but at the same time I didn’t start taking them til over a week after my cough started so it could have just been timing. I want to know if anyone else out there suffers from a similar cough. There is no wheezing and all doctors have said that my lungs are clear as a bell, which rules out asthma. I do not smoke, though I used to, however this started prior to me picking up smoking. I am 24, and I believe this has been happening since I was about 19. In my late teens I smoked marijuana quite often so perhaps this could be an effect of that? If so, I have never seen anything like it in any of my friends or older people who have been lifetime pot smokers. I just really want to find something to stop my cough. It seems weird that it’s on sort of a schedule, though it doesn’t really coordinate with the changing of the seasons. If anyone has anything similar please let me know. I’ve yet to find anyone with the same problem.


i am a 54 year old male and for the past 3 years have had pretty close to the same problem and still do.I was just diagnosed with IPD which you do not have to smoke to get.Most people get it after they quit and some of it is herited.I would request a HI DEF CAT scan of your chest and then see a excellent lung specialist.GOOD LUCK
Tony | Feb 01, 2010


i live with this. daily. not just sometimes.. and im miserable. i have asthma and the dr said this is chronic bronchitis. and he cant help me….. i have that horrible tickle itch in my throat then brst out into violent cough attacks. i am having one now and have been for about an hour…. nothing helps but strong mints!! not even my inhalor…. its bad.. i have walked out interveiws due to having this attack….. sorry… feel better. try strong mints and water at the same time
*Lil bean due oct. 7th* | Feb 02, 2010

Closer

Closer
Closer (2004)

IMDB rating: 7.40

Plot: Set in London, England, good Samaritan Dan Wolf (Jude Law), a struggling writer, takes Alice Ayres (Natalie Portman), a shady young woman and part-time stripper, to the hospital when she’s hit by a car, and they fall in love. One year later, Dan meets photographer Anna Cameron (Julie Roberts) and tries to pick her up, but she rebuffs him. In revenge, Dan sets Anna up for an embarrassing encounter with sex-addicted dermatologist Larry Bagley (Clive Owen), but the two end up seeing each other. Then another year later, Dan and Anna begin an affair of their own, and relationships between the four collapse. Over the next year, all of them become obsessed with hurting each other and wreak some heavy emotional damage. Will any of them be strong enough to put this destructive sequence of events to a stop?

Online Movies World

Directors: Nichols Mike

Actors: Law Jude,Owen Clive,Hobbs Nick,Stinton Colin,Benham Steve,Dresner Daniel,Gabriel Antony,Haley Michael,Morphew Steve,Popoola Abdul,Raval Animesh,Rnic Peter,Yount Bret,Short,

What do when the guy you love is also your best friend, but lost him over because of another guy?
So I’m 16 and this kid drew was like my best friend ever. I told him EVERYTHING. Sometimes more then I did my best girl friends. I was with this guy, zach, on and off for 7 months. When ever me and zach broke me and drew would be together. Then when me and zach got back together, me and drew went back to friends. And the only reason i didn’t just got out with drew and say skip zach is he had left me twice already for other girls, one of which was my best friend.
The whole time me and zach were on and off drew would tell me how I’m just going to get hurt again, because that’s all he ever did. Then finally one night I was in my basement crying my eyes out while drew held me and told me he would never let anyone hurt me again and that he loves me.
Turns out a week later I was back to zach, after that drew kind of gave up. Turns out zach was screwing with me, bad. I just didn’t see it because he was my 1st and I got soo attached.
But now I’m done with zach for sure, and i want drew back in life. We are verily friends now. How do I get him to at least be close friends with em again.. I don’t even care if we are a couple.. I just want him back in my life?

Back in Action

Back in Action
Back in Action (1993)

IMDB rating: 5.10

Plot: The sister of a former U.S. Green Beret, is involved in a love affair with a mobster, endangering seriously her life. His brother will make his best efforts to save her from her boyfriend and his friends, fighting with or without external help. But perhaps this tough cop, Rossi, could help him… or stop him…

Directors: DiMarco Steve

Actors: Blanks Billy,Piper Roddy,Birman Matt,Bennett Nigel,D’Oliveira Damon,Stefaniuk Rob,Malkin Sam,Blake Barry,Fiddick Kelly,Robbins Garry,Ferry David,Quigley Gerry,Zemanek Timm,Action,Adventure,Drama,

Do I look better with or without glasses?
Just wondering!

with: http://s585.photobucket.com/albums/ss294 /locococo3/?action=view&current=008. jpg

without: http://s585.photobucket.com/albums/ss294 /locococo3/?action=view&current=007. jpg


with
Snagglepuss | Feb 04, 2010


well it was pretty hard from those pictures,
but i think the one WITH glasses you looked better
pinkbeauty<3 | Feb 04, 2010


Well i couldn’t really see your face on the pic where you weren’t wearing em. But from what I did see, you look better with your cool glasses
Morgan | Feb 04, 2010


I think you should just dump the glasses! I think you look so much better without them, you can see your eyes more.
Michy | Feb 04, 2010


The zebra print on your glasses gives you more personality, so i say with!
Rebecca S | Feb 04, 2010


your a pretty girl regardless
prettygirl | Feb 04, 2010


im not being mean but you look awesome with glasses
Vinessa | Feb 04, 2010


With.

Hope i helped !
=D
Emma<3James ! | Feb 04, 2010


With or without you’re still pretty! The cool shades give you personality, style, and uniqueness. Without glasses we can see your pretty eyes. I guess both!
Brittany | Feb 04, 2010


like with glasses.

one thing i noticed is that everyone who wheres glasses looks better with them

random thing ( this guy i like wears them. his name is christopher,chris,he is hot)
GO GREEN | Feb 04, 2010


all pretty
Eight | Feb 04, 2010


With glasses
Gorgeous Princess | Feb 04, 2010

Body Armour

Body Armour
Body Armour (2007)

IMDB rating: 4.00

Plot: A burned-out bodyguard is hired to protect the man he hates the most: an international assassin who destroyed his career and ruined his life. Forced to put his personal feelings on hold, the bodyguard must use all his skills and years of experience to keep the assassin alive in the face of constant danger.

Directors: Lively Gerry

Actors: Schweiger Til,Palminteri Chazz,Homar Lluis,Salmeron Gustavo,Bonfils Khan,Decosta Johnson Louis,Ullod Mark,Brimble Nick,Montane Jaume,Harper Toby,Gibert Paul,Action,

Do you think Gordon was wearing body armour?
When he had to sit through 90 minutes of a cabinet meeting yesterday with the ’silent six’ at the same table? Honestly speaking, is he really that gutless and spineless? Would you have allowed them into number 10 or sacked them immediately? Not one word was spoken about the attempted putsch, the man’s desperate to stay in office.
Scouse, amusing? Hysterically funny if it wasn’t so real! You couldn’t have seen it scripted better on Yes Prime Minister!
Way to go Chazi !!!


He’d need more than body armour if I ever got near him!
This man has been a traitor to this country and has been complicit in bringing it to financial ruin. That’s apart from his head up his jacksy regarding immigration. This man sucked up to Jack Jones a paid Soviet spy and leader of the communist controlled TGWU to enable him to gain a safe labour seat for the 1983 election.No wonder he was so effusive in his praise for a man who, in charge of the biggest union in Britain brought his members out on strike after strike.
Thank God Margret Thatcher curbed the unions with their incessant strikes. Why do you think we have no ship building, steel and car industries? They striked themselves out of a job as by their antics it was cheaper and more reliable to import from abroad.

chazi | Jan 09, 2010


The point is that had he sacked them they would have turned on him and forced the selection of a new leader showing how clearly the party is divided in the run up to the election of a new party leader. it is in reality too late to change horses now and so each knows what the other is thinking. Brown knows he is not wanted and he knows that his own cabinet does not want him but they know that he is their only chance of winning an election and that once it is won he will be voted out of office as soon as it is politically expedient can. Somewhat amusing eh?
Scouse | Jan 09, 2010


no i think he was holding their MI 5 files in his hands hence the keeping quiet bit lol. it could be worse we could still have blair lol.
from the horse's mouth | Jan 09, 2010


If you look very carefully you will see that Gordon appears somewhat round-shouldered – being very naive I used to think that this was because he was carrying the cares of the world on his back
(A bit like Atlas – on second thoughts nothing like Atlas at all).
I think you have have the answer – it’s probably an extra reinforcing layer armour for between the shoulder blades.

Interestingly, it would seem that as David (I really don’t want the job) Miliband didn’t declare his hand this time he may have hurt his future leadership chances by showing he has no ‘political guts’.
shambling | Jan 09, 2010


he was told that if he didnt stop telling blatant lies to the public they would vote him out. thats why dandy mandy is now telling us there will be huge cuts in spending instead of brown telling us there would be austerity from tories and prosperity from labour.
time for change | Jan 09, 2010


He has the skin of a rhinoceros and a brain of an ostrich and I suspect he had no idea what his cabinet were talking about yesterday.
roger.williams20@btinternet.com | Jan 09, 2010

Witchboard

Witchboard
Witchboard (1986)

IMDB rating: 5.20

Plot: At a party, a guest brings out a Ouija board, and they attempt to contact a spirit he knows. The spirit does appear, but it becomes apparent to the one who brought the Ouija board that this is an evil spirit that is impersonating his spirit, and despite warnings not to use the board alone, a woman uses it alone, and becomes harassed by the evil spirit, his goal to possess her so he can walk the earth again.

Directors: Tenney Kevin

Actors: Allen Todd,Byrnes Burke,Carroll Ryan,Luebsen J.P.,Nichols Stephen,Quinn James W.,Rhodes Kenny,Horror,Mystery,Thriller,

is real? i believe in ghosts and all but now that I saw this :0?
www.witchboard.com

discuss; do you believe this is real? does it function realisticly and is it accurate?


I checked the suite out,every though my toolbar was not up to date.My guts told me not to trust it. The story about the board is most interesting,i would agreed with the story.

zena | Aug 31, 2009


Ghosts aren’t real since I don’t believe in ghosts
Josh D | Aug 31, 2009


no. just no.
Andrea R | Aug 31, 2009

Published by genevelazquez1966, on February 7th, 2010 at 9:10 pm. Filled under: Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

Spiderwick Chronicles, The

Spiderwick Chronicles, The
Spiderwick Chronicles, The (2008)

IMDB rating: 7.10

Plot: Once upon a time, upon moving into the run-down Spiderwick Estate with their mother, twin brothers Jared and Simon Grace, along with their sister Mallory, find themselves pulled into an alternate world full of faeries and other creatures. Unable to explain the strange disappearances and accidents that seem to be happening on a daily basis, the family blames it all on Jared. When he, Simon and Mallory investigate what’s really going on, they uncover the fantastic truth of the Spiderwick estate and of the creatures that inhabit it.

Directors:

Actors: Highmore Freddie,Nolte Nick,Strathairn David,Rogen Seth,Short Martin,McCarthy Andrew,Fennell Tod,Lavalley Jeremy,Jones Tyler Patrick,Switzer Kyle,Adventure,Family,Fantasy,Thriller,

What is the quote about home by the narrator in the movie the Spiderwick Chronicles?


When I was captivated by all the mystical creatures I was seeing, I missed the one I already had?
melanyrocks | Nov 02, 2009

Today You Die

Today You Die
Today You Die (2005)

IMDB rating: 3.90

Plot: A crook with a conscience takes on the men who turned on him in this action thriller. Harlan Banks (Steven Seagal) is a world-class thief who has always picked his own jobs and tried to pull heists that would leave him room to help out others; he also has powerful psychic abilities and can punish a man simply with the powers of his mind. But the work keeps getting riskier, and at the urging of his girlfriend, Banks has decided to pull one final job, going in with some men who are planning a 20-million-dollar casino robbery in Las Vegas. Banks is double-crossed by his new partners, and while he gets away with the money, Banks also ends up behind bars. Now his fellow crooks want the cash and will do anything to get it, but Banks isn’t eager to part with a hard-earned dollar, and with the help of Ice Cool (Anthony Criss, aka hip-hop star Treach), he busts out of prison to claim what’s his.

i find Today You Die in HD Ready:720p quaity

Directors: FauntLeRoy Don E.

Actors: Seagal Steven,Criss Anthony ‘Treach’,Mancuso Nick,Miano Robert,Tighe Kevin,McShane Jamie,Turner Lawrence,Rice Brett,Mancuso Lance Jonathan,James Hawthorne,Frye David,Action,Crime,

HELP WITH FEEDER CRICKETS FOR SALAMANDERS?
I bought 5 dozen large crickets from petsmart on Monday. today I noticed their container stunk horrible. I looked in and saw at least 2 dozen dead crickets slimy, black and stinky. I have been buying crickets to feed my salamanders for about 6 years now. I have never had that many crickets die that fast and I have never had crickets turn black and slimy when dead.

Why did this happen?


Probably an old bunch, although I don’t know about the slimy part. Did you feed the crickets/give them water while they were waiting to be eaten?
Zach | Feb 06, 2010

Kokoda

Kokoda
Kokoda (2006)

IMDB rating: 6.20

Plot: A bitter battle is fought between Australian and Japanese soldiers along the Kokoda trail in New Guinea during World War II.

i find Kokoda iPod/iPhone version and download

Directors: Grierson Alister

Actors: Finsterer Jack,McMahon Travis,Stone Simon,Ford Luke,Budge Tom,Le Marquand Steve,Sampson Angus,Baker Christopher,Leslie Ewen,Barrack Ben,Bourne Shane,McInnes William,Taylor Darren,Stibbard Lucas,Gunn Jeffey,Drama,War,

History- Battle of Kokoda?
How many Australians were INJURED and KILLED in the battle of Kokoda. Please tell me how many died and how many were killed. Thankyouu :)


625 killed

1,055 wounded

————————————–

Tom Jones

Tom Jones
Tom Jones (1963)

IMDB rating: 7.10

Plot: Tom Jones, abandoned as a baby in mysterious circumstances, is brought up by Squire Allworthy. Resented by Allworthy’s legitimate heir Blifil, Tom grows into an amiable rascal, fond of the fair sex. He loves Squire Western’s daughter Sophie, but when discovered by his tutors with a local girl Molly, he is banished by his benefactor. After numerous adventures he reaches London and embarks on an affair with the wealthy Lady Bellaston while Squire Western’s sister has arranged a marriage between Sophie and Blifil. Horrified, Sophie escapes to London, meeting up with her cousin Mrs. Fitspatrick who is also running away from her husband. Mr. Fitzpatrick follows them and suspects Tom of having seduced his runaway wife.

Directors: Richardson Tony

Actors: Finney Albert,Griffith Hugh,Devine George,Tomlinson David,Cooper George A.,Dignam Mark,Glover Julian,Bull Peter,Adventure,Comedy,Romance,

Football survey Part 1…………..?
What is the first player or thought that comes to your mind when you think of these teams? I will give you mine as I go down.

Patriots- Tom Brady
Jets- Joe Namath
Dolphins- Dan Marino
Bills- Wide Right
Bengals- Chad Ochocinco
Browns- Jim Brown
Ravens- Ray Lewis
Steelers- Steel Curtain
Colts- Peyton Manning
Titans- Music City Miracle
Texans- Andre Johnson
Jaguars- Maurice Jones-Drew
Broncos- The Drive
Raiders- Immaculate Reception ;)
Chargers- Ladanian Tomlinson
Chiefs- Arrowhead Stadium


Patriots- Super Bowl XXXI Packers
Jets- Broadway Joe and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf3oOQq9K FU
Dolphins- "Laces out, Dan! Laces out!" Sheesh.
Bills- 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994
Bengals- Tim Kumrie in Super Bowl XXIII leg breaking (ewww)
Browns- their hiatus from 1996-1999 and Elkgond
Ravens- Super Bowl XXXV
Steelers- Terry Bradshaw
Colts- Peyton Manning
Titans- My favorite non-Packer=Chris Johnson
Texans- Houston Oilers
Jaguars- Maurice Jones-Drew
Broncos- Super Bowl XXXII John Elway and I’m still upset
Raiders- Their gift of Charles Woodson coming to the Packers
Chargers- Junior Seau
Chiefs- "The Nigerian Nightmare" Christian Okoye

Jenn Brewers ? Packers Girl | Jan 21, 2010


brady
new york
miami
orange
baltimore
ben
manning
chris johnson
andre johnson
jacksonville
denver
oakland
san diego
kansas
PSP | Jan 21, 2010


Patriots- Bears 45 Patriots 10
Jets- Annoying guy with the hardhat yelling J-E-T-S!!!
Dolphins- Wishing Mercury Morris would disappear.
Bills- Snow
Bengals- Kenny Anderson
Browns- Jim Brown
Ravens- Ray Lewis
Steelers- Terry Bradshaw
Colts- Peyton Manning
Titans- Chris Johnson
Texans- the other team in Texas
Jaguars- Mark Brunell
Broncos- South Park
Raiders- John Madden
Chargers- Dan Fouts
Chiefs- Joe Delaney
Stupid Flanders | Jan 21, 2010


patriots – brady truly is a pansy
jets – "Iwanta kis syou"
dolphins – poor marino
bills – 4 straight super bowl losses. ouch.
bengals – ochocinco is hilarious
browns – poor marty schottenheimer
ravens – ray lewis is still a beast after all these years
steelers – oh my god i hate james harrison
colts – peyton is quite possibly the greatest quarterback to ever play the game, with respects to joe montana of course
titans – such a forward lateral
texans – matt schaub is the man
jaguars – los angeles jaguars
broncos – elways an a**
raiders – attention everyone, rich gannon just threw another interception
chargers – poor marty schottenheimer
chiefs – poor marty schottenheimer
redsox1208 | Jan 21, 2010


Pats-Brady
Jets-SB 3
Dolphins-Marino
Bills-0-4 SB
Bengals-Ocho Cinco
Browns-Jim Brown
Ravens-Defense
Steelers-Troy Polumalu
Colts-Peyton Manning
Titans-VY
Texans-8-8 lol
Jags-MJD
Broncos-John Elway
Raiders-Jamarcus Russel
Chargers-LT
Chiefs-LJ
GO NC STATE | Jan 21, 2010


Colts-Peyton Manning
Pats-Brady
Jets-SB 3
Dolphins-Marino
Bills-0-4 SB
Bengals-Ocho Cinco
Browns-Jim Brown
Ravens-Defense
Steelers-Troy Polumalu
Titans-VY
Texans-8-8 lol
Jags-MJD
Broncos-John Elway
Raiders-Jamarcus Russel
Chargers-LT
Chiefs-LJ
Umar | Jan 21, 2010


Patriots- Tom Brady
Jets- Super Bowl III
Dolphins- Dan Marino
Bills- 4 straight Super Bowl losses
Bengals- 1990 (the last time they have won a playoff game)
Browns- Jim Brown
Ravens- 2000 Super Bowl team
Steelers- Steel Curtain Defense of the 70s
Colts- Peyton
Titans- Steve McNair
Texans- Andre Johnson
Jaguars- The 1996 Playoffs
Broncos- John Elway
Raiders- Fucking Al Davis
Chargers- Choke in playoffs
Chiefs- Great fans
Shy Guy | Jan 21, 2010


Patriots- Tom Brady
Jets- Joe Namtah
Dolphins- Dan Marino
BIlls- snow
Bengals- Ochocinco
Browns- crap
Ravens- Ray Lewis
Steelers- Dick Labeau (a former Lion)
Colts- Peyton Manning
Titans- Steve McNair
Texans- Andre Johnson
Jags- MJD
Broncos- Jay Cutler
Raiders- Rich Gannon
Chargers- LT
Chiefs- Trent Green
123 | Jan 21, 2010


Patriots: Tom Brady
Jets: Chad Pennington
Dolphins: Dan Marino
Bills: Average Football Team
Bengals: Chad Ochocinco
Browns: Jim Brown
Ravens: Ray Lewis
Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger
Colts: Peyton Manning
Titans: Steve McNair
Texans: ????????
Jaguars: Empty Seats at Home Games
Broncos: John Elway
Raiders: Al Davis
Chargers: LaDainian Tomlinson
Chiefs: Arrowhead
RB | Jan 21, 2010


Patriots: Wes Welker
Jets: Rex Ryan
Dolphins: Ronnie Brown
Bills: Terrell Owens
Bengals: Chad Ochocinco
Browns: Dawg Pound
Ravens: Ray Lewis
Steelers: Heinz Field
Colts: Peyton Manning
Titans: Vince Young
Texans: Matt Schaub
Jaguars: Maurice Jones-Drew
Broncos: Brandon Marshall
Raiders: No hope
Chargers: Choke
Chiefs: Passionate fans
Ryan – The Aussie Piston Fan | Jan 21, 2010


12
NY
miami
orange
85
needs a better team
beast
good defense
MVP
tennesee
good WR
good
i dont know
i dont know

fast
sucks
PATRIOTS FAN | Jan 21, 2010


Patriots- watching with my dad in 70s and 80s
Jets- green uniforms
Dolphins- Dan Marino
Bills- 20 below zero
Bengals- Bungles
Browns- hopeless loser
Ravens – great defense, sucky offense
Steelers- Bradshaw
Colts- contempably skulking out of Baltimore under cover of darkness
Titans- Vince Young
Texans- shouldn’t this be the oilers
Jaguars- half empty park
Broncos- Orange Crush
Raiders- Al Davis and a bunch of moving vans going from Oakland to LA to Oakland
Chargers- Fouts
Chiefs- a lineman named Otis Sistrunk
mattapan26 | Jan 21, 2010


Patriots
Thomas Jones
Chad Pennington
Defense that used to be awesome
Losing to Jets
Kellen Winslow
Ed Reed
Superbowl 43
Peyton Manning
Chris Johnson
David Garrard
Jay Cutler =(
Suck really bad
Philip Rivers
Ending Brady’s Season
New England Patriots Fan!!(10-6) | Jan 21, 2010

Published by genevelazquez1966, on February 6th, 2010 at 2:33 am. Filled under: Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

Dark Streets

Dark Streets
Dark Streets (2008)

IMDB rating: 4.10

Plot: The owner of a 1930s nightclub loses control of his life amid love triangles and too much debt.

Download Dark Streets

Directors: Samuels Rachel

Actors: Mann Gabriel,Koteas Elias,Merz Jarreth J.,Fairman Michael,Diamond Toledo,Caballero Jordi,Muscat Mike,Aldridge David,Arthur Noel,Cooper Samuel Bliss,Flenoury Roosevelt,Drama,Thriller,

What do you think of this short story ?
My last coin. I hadn’t been lucky tonight- usually I got maybe one or two small victories, but today I’d got none. The coin seemed dull in comparison to when I’d first exchanged my thirty-dollar bill for a handful of shining coins. It could be that it was because it was the only one left or maybe because all of my fingering jhad rubbed away the shine, or maybe the sparkle left alongside the hope that came with them.
I rolled the coin between my hands and blew on my closed fist, as I did with each one before slipping them into the slotmachine. Counting to four- my lucky number – I yanked the lever and crossed both hands. And my legs, too, for good measure. And maybe even my arms.
I suppose gambling away like this wasn’t a very good habit. More like a bad hobby, actually. Some people said winning big was as unlikely as winning the lottery, which is ironic considering how I’d once won a thousand dollar scratch-card. Of course, that money didn’t last long. I’d enjoyed food that wasn’t canned and payed back a small amount off my loans just to feel good for a few days.
Days, unfortunately, were the one thing that I didn’t have much of. In a week I’d be kicked out of my apartment. I’d begged for them to let me stay even though I hadn’t payed rent in months, layering false promises so skillfully I’d nearly believed them myself. Living on the streets wouldn’t be much worse than living in that apartment, though. I didn’t have electricity, running water, a heater, or anything much but a concrete cloor beneath my feet and a flickering light over my head. Some furniture, too; a creaky bed with stained sheets, a shaggy rug and a few pieces of rotting wood pinned together to make a bedstand. And a photo of me and Sean by that lake, with the water lillies he loved so much in the background. A picture frame holding what I believed to be a snapshot of my last and only happy moments, with Sean or without.
Not that I’d ever really been happy without him. Living with abusive, alchoholic single mother, I had a horrible childhood that actually physically hurts to look back on; thinking about those times makes the bruises and broken bones flare up in phantom pain. When Sean came along, I’d had nobody. I was a girl hardened by misuse and he taught me how to love. And when he’d gone, he’d taken it along with him to the grave. I’d turned to gambling; the clinking of coins together sounded hopefull to me, so much like the sound his change made in his pocket when he laughed.
Laughing was far off my mind as the slot machine pinged and lit up suddenly, clicking fruits around and around like some sort of deranged cartoon.
I can’t say I was surprised to find an apple, a lemon and an orange, and even more surprised not to feel the sinking feeling I had anticipated when this moment came. I’d gambled all my money away and I was feeling better than I had in weeks.
"’Scuse me, Miss? Are you a.. ah, Ms. Ellen James?"
I felt a shiver in the back of my neck, a sort of tingling you get when someone’s watching you from behind. For some reason, I had a feeling that this man had been doing it for quite a while.
I turned away from the corner I’d been sulking in, only to leap back suddenly and crack my head against the wall I’d just been facing. I cluctched my throbbing head and looked back.
The man looked like a vampire straight out of a horror movie; black pants, long black trenchcoat and greasy, badly cut hair dangling over his ears and framing a pale face with dark eyes and nearly transparent skin. He was tall, too, and from where I was he looked as if he was close to touching his head on the red-velvet ceiling of the casino.
I glared at him suspiciousley for a few moments, wondering what he wanted from me. He had potential to be a serial murder or an assassin, though I would doubt anyone had reason enough to send someone out to kill me.
We stood and stared at eachother liek that for a few moments until I noticed the badge on his shirt. The same one Sean once had from his old job.
"What do you want?" I said.
The man flicked his eyes back to me from the glowing neon of an outside motel, then blew a stray lock of oily hair away from his face.
"Just a note." He said, and reached into his pocket to take it out.
Imagine my surprise when instead of a folded paper in his hand he came out with a butterfly. And not a plastic toy, either; this one was real. Real twitching anntenne, real moving wings and a real note attached around its body.
The strange man held out his hand into my extended one and let the butterfly crawl onto my palm. Its little legs tickled my skin and mesmirized me all the same.
"Th-thank you," I muttered, shocked at this eccentric notion from a complete stranger.
But he had already left. I gazed around to see where’d he’d gone, but all that was left was me, the empty casino room and the butterfly. And, of course, the note.
That’s all I have so far. Any suggestions for improvements?
And I know it’s really bad tenses. I wasn’t really working on that and kind of let myself wander on alot of things. D:


The ending was beautiful. I love butterflies!!

I liked it.
Cam | Feb 02, 2010


you’re kidding right?
blackoutparty111 | Feb 02, 2010


I feel like you are spouting too much information all at once. It’s a story, not a commercial. Also, you need to check tenses and subject-verb agreements. Good luck :)
A Bit Bohemian | Feb 02, 2010


It’s good. I like the narration. Maybe u could add some detail(s) that give the butterfly some more sense (It’s already good, but can be even better) u have some great material.
Lady Blackhole | Feb 02, 2010


You do too much telling, honestly. I would suggest opening up with meeting this stranger. All that other information isn’t important at the moment. It can become more relevant later, and you should only put it in when the reader should know.

And in the first paragraph, there is an annoying repetition of "coin." Try to find other words.

I’m not sure how a butterfly would survive in a guy’s pocket, either. That part was a bit odd for me.

Overall, it’s not bad. It’s interesting. I don’t know if it draws the reader in (I was totally indifferent to the beginning), but it has an interesting premise. Lots of typos, though. Were you in a hurry to post this?
Mizzuz Spock | Feb 02, 2010


Your writing has such passion. And there is such intricate detail. I felt like I was actually there at the slot machine and I almost felt those phantom pains, myself. I wish I could write like that. I don’t know what these other people are thinking. You have the potential to be a phenomenal writer. I say you should definitely keep writing :)
David | Feb 02, 2010

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